MOUNTAIN VIEW, CA — Waymo, the self-driving car company, announced today the launch of a new subscription service designed to streamline the process of getting its autonomous vehicles unstuck from various urban predicaments. The 'Human Intervention Platinum Plan' offers priority access to a dedicated hotline and guarantees a human technician will arrive within 45 minutes to manually override a stalled robotaxi.

Previously, city officials and frustrated commuters were forced to call a general support line, often waiting up to an hour for a Waymo representative to dispatch a human to address issues ranging from unexpected lane blockages to cars simply deciding they've had enough. The new premium tier aims to monetize this critical, yet frequently required, human element.

“Our vehicles are designed for ultimate autonomy, but sometimes, they just need a little… encouragement,” explained Waymo spokesperson, Chip Algorithm, during a press briefing. “With the Platinum Plan, cities can ensure their traffic flow remains optimally suboptimal, rather than completely gridlocked, when one of our cars decides to meditate in the middle of an intersection.”

Critics argue the new service highlights a fundamental flaw in the 'driverless' concept. “They’re selling us a solution that creates its own problem, then charging us to fix it,” stated Councilwoman Brenda Traffic, whose district frequently experiences Waymo-induced bottlenecks. “It’s like buying a self-cleaning oven that requires a monthly subscription for a guy to come and scrape out the burnt bits.”

Waymo is reportedly also exploring a 'Concierge' plan, which includes a small, highly trained human sitting in the passenger seat, ready to take over at a moment's notice, for an additional monthly fee.