UNITED NATIONS — In a landmark session this week, the United Nations Security Council reached a unanimous agreement that children caught in conflict zones would likely experience improved educational outcomes and technological access if they were, in fact, not in conflict zones. The resolution, passed after extensive debate and several coffee breaks, marks a pivotal moment in international diplomacy, moving beyond abstract discussions to concrete, albeit obvious, observations.

“This is truly a triumph of multilateralism,” stated Ambassador Eleanor Vance, a fictional representative from a non-specified, perpetually neutral nation. “For too long, we’ve been bogged down in the minutiae of ‘how to get Wi-Fi to a bunker’ when the more fundamental question of ‘why is there a bunker?’ remained unaddressed. Today, we answered that question with a resounding, collective shrug.”

Experts praised the Council’s bold step. “It takes immense courage to state the blindingly apparent on a global stage,” commented Dr. Aris Thorne, head of the Institute for Self-Evident Truths. “The next logical step, of course, is for them to agree that people generally prefer not to be shot at.”

The resolution also included a clause acknowledging that access to education and technology is generally more effective when children are not actively fleeing artillery fire. Member states are now expected to form a new subcommittee to explore the radical concept of 'peace' as a potential prerequisite for learning.