PALM BEACH, FL — Former President Donald Trump has announced a sweeping new artificial intelligence strategy designed to tackle the nation's most pressing issues, from global diplomacy to energy grids, and even the existential threat posed by AI itself. The multi-pronged approach, detailed in a series of recent statements, aims to harness the power of advanced algorithms to create a 'modern peace corps,' ensure 'utility promises,' and prepare for 'modern warfare,' often simultaneously.

“We’re going to have the best AI, the most tremendous AI, AI that will do things no other AI has ever done,” Trump stated in a recent press conference, flanked by a holographic projection of what appeared to be a very large, golden algorithm. “It’s going to build infrastructure, it’s going to make peace, and if anyone tries to mess with us, it’s going to win every single time. Believe me.”

Experts are scrambling to understand the technical specifics of the plan. Dr. Evelyn Chen, a computational linguist at the Institute for Unspecified Technologies, noted, “It’s… comprehensive. The idea of an AI-powered peace corps that also manages data center energy consumption while simultaneously developing advanced military applications is certainly novel. We just haven’t quite figured out how those three things connect, or, for that matter, how any of them actually work.”

A spokesperson for the campaign, who asked to remain anonymous to discuss the future, confirmed that the AI would be “very smart, very powerful, and very, very loyal.” They added that the initiative would also address the rising cost of data centers by having the AI itself negotiate better electricity rates, ideally with other AIs.

Critics, meanwhile, questioned the feasibility of such a broad and technologically diverse undertaking. However, sources close to the former president assured the public that the AI would be so advanced, it would probably just figure it out on its own.