CHICAGO – A local family has officially renamed their recently adopted shelter dog, formerly known as Dutchess, to Lena, citing concerns that the original moniker was “a bit too literal” regarding the animal’s aesthetic challenges. The move comes after weeks of the family grappling with the dog’s distinct, some might say 'challenging,' visual presentation.

“We loved her spirit, truly, but ‘Dutchess’ just felt like a cruel joke every time we introduced her,” explained Sarah Jenkins, matriarch of the adopting family. “It implied a certain regal elegance, which, bless her heart, she doesn’t quite possess. Lena felt more… accessible. More like a dog you’d see and think, ‘Oh, that’s a dog,’ rather than, ‘What’s happening with that dog’s face?’”

The family initially sought a pet that would enhance their online presence, envisioning a photogenic companion for Instagram posts and TikToks. “We had mood boards, honestly,” admitted teenage son, Kevin. “Lots of golden retrievers in flower crowns. Dutchess, I mean, Lena, wasn’t exactly on the board. But she was available, and the shelter worker looked really tired.”

Animal shelter representatives, who prefer to remain anonymous to avoid further public scrutiny of their naming conventions, stated that 'Dutchess' was chosen by a volunteer who “had a vivid imagination and a penchant for irony.” The shelter confirmed they are now reviewing their naming policy to ensure future animals are given names that are less aspirational and more reflective of their immediate, unvarnished reality.

The Jenkins family reports that Lena is adjusting well, though they are still working on finding a filter that truly captures her inner beauty.