CAMBRIDGE, MA – A groundbreaking new consensus has emerged from the global scientific community, asserting that their extensive ties to convicted sex offender Jeffrey Epstein were primarily a matter of 'polite professional courtesy.' Researchers from various prestigious institutions clarified today that they were simply too well-mannered to decline invitations, grants, or private jet travel from a man they now universally describe as 'a bit much.'

“It’s simply good form to engage with anyone offering significant funding for quantum entanglement research,” explained Dr. Evelyn Reed, a theoretical physicist who attended multiple Epstein-hosted events. “One doesn’t just say ‘no’ to a private island symposium, even if the host’s questions about string theory invariably devolved into inquiries about the age of the universe in relation to underage populations. We assumed it was a metaphor.”

Another prominent biologist, who requested anonymity to protect his tenure, stated, “We’re scientists, not social arbiters. Our job is to advance human knowledge, not to vet the moral fiber of every billionaire who expresses a passing interest in our work. Frankly, we thought his fascination with ‘human potential’ was just a quirky euphemism for philanthropic investment.”

Experts suggest this collective politeness may be a previously undiscovered scientific phenomenon, where the gravitational pull of large sums of money temporarily overrides basic ethical discernment. The community is now exploring whether similar 'courtesy-based' associations exist with other ethically dubious benefactors.

In related news, a new study suggests that if you put enough grant money in front of a Nobel laureate, they might just forget to ask where it came from.