LONDON – A consortium of self-proclaimed 'royal experts' has today released a comprehensive report confirming the existence and surprising resilience of the 'royal expert' industry itself. The study, conducted over several decades of intense speculation, concludes that the profession thrives exclusively on the perceived slights and minor transgressions within the British monarchy.

“Frankly, we were stunned by the data,” stated Dr. Penelope Windsor-Cavendish, lead researcher and a prominent royal commentator for 30 years. “Our findings indicate that without a steady stream of alleged betrayals, subtle snubs, and the occasional mismatched hat, our entire economic model would collapse. It’s a delicate ecosystem, reliant on the public’s enduring fascination with who might have looked at whom funny during a garden party.”

The report highlights the critical role played by figures like Sarah Ferguson, whose every move, from book deals to toe-sucking scandals, has provided invaluable content for the industry. “Her Royal Highness the Duchess of York has been a pillar of our community,” Dr. Windsor-Cavendish added, adjusting her monocle. “Her consistent ability to generate mild controversy is, quite frankly, what puts caviar on our bespoke toast.”

Industry analysts predict a significant downturn if the royals ever achieve sustained, drama-free harmony, forcing experts to pivot to, God forbid, actual news.