NEW YORK, NY — The New York Times, long a bastion of investigative journalism and Pulitzer-winning reporting, has quietly unveiled a new editorial division dedicated solely to informing the public on 'how to watch' sporting events that, by most metrics, are not particularly watchable. The initiative follows the paper’s recent publication of a guide for accessing a regular-season Detroit Pistons vs. Brooklyn Nets game.

Sources within the Times, speaking anonymously due to the sheer banality of the subject matter, confirmed the new desk is already fully operational. "Our readers demand comprehensive coverage," stated 'Eleanor Vance,' newly appointed Head of Peripheral Sports Viewing Logistics. "And sometimes, that means helping them navigate the 17 different streaming services required to see two teams with a combined 30 wins battle it out on a Tuesday night in March. It's about public service, really."

Critics, meanwhile, have questioned the allocation of resources. "Is this really what the Gray Lady has come to?" pondered media analyst Dr. Sterling Finch. "Are we to expect 'How to Watch a Local High School JV Lacrosse Scrimmage' next? The Times is now effectively a very expensive TV Guide for games that would otherwise only be seen by immediate family members and a handful of dedicated bettors."

The Times maintains its commitment to informing its readership on all matters of global importance, even if that importance is currently hovering somewhere around the 14th seed in the Eastern Conference.