A comprehensive new report released today has officially confirmed that the overwhelming majority of consumers would prefer to complete all retail transactions without the burden of human interaction. The study, conducted by the Institute for Advanced Social Avoidance (IASA), found that self-service technologies are not merely convenient, but actively sought out as a means to circumvent even the briefest exchange of pleasantries.

“For years, we’ve operated under the assumption that a friendly face and a 'how may I help you?' were assets,” stated Dr. Evelyn Pinter, lead researcher at IASA. “Our data unequivocally shows that the ideal retail experience, for most, involves zero eye contact, no forced small talk about the weather, and certainly no awkward pauses while a cashier fumbles for change. The dream, it turns out, is to just scan, pay, and escape.”

The report highlights a significant shift in consumer psychology, suggesting that the rise of online shopping has merely primed the public for a similar, solitary experience in brick-and-mortar stores. Participants in focus groups consistently expressed a desire to avoid perceived judgment, sales pitches, or the general inefficiency of human-to-human commerce.

“I just want my oat milk and to be left alone,” confessed one anonymous survey respondent, a sentiment echoed by thousands. “Is that so much to ask? I’m not here to make friends, I’m here to acquire goods.” Industry analysts predict a rapid acceleration in the deployment of fully automated retail spaces, designed to cater to the public’s burgeoning desire for transactional solitude.

Experts now warn that any attempt to reintroduce mandatory human interaction could lead to widespread consumer panic and a significant drop in sales.