GENEVA – A landmark study released today by the International Institute of Peripatetic Psychology (IIPP) definitively concludes that individuals who claim to “basically live out of a suitcase” are, in fact, primarily attempting to escape the daunting reality of their accumulated laundry.

The research, which tracked the travel patterns and domestic habits of over 5,000 self-proclaimed digital nomads and corporate road warriors, found a staggering 98% correlation between booking an international flight and the presence of at least three weeks' worth of unwashed garments at their primary residence. The remaining 2% were found to be using their travel as an elaborate alibi for not returning library books.

Dr. Elara Vance, lead author of the study, presented the findings with a weary sigh. “For years, we’ve been told it’s about 'experience' or 'networking.' But our data clearly shows that the true siren song of the open road is the temporary reprieve from sorting colors, whites, and delicates,” Vance explained. “The 'must-have' travel accessories they espouse? Mostly just ways to make dirty clothes slightly less offensive until they can pawn them off on a long-suffering relative during a brief layover.”

One anonymous frequent flyer, interviewed at an airport lounge, confessed, “Honestly, the thought of facing that mountain of denim and athleisure wear is more terrifying than any turbulence. If I just keep moving, maybe it’ll… compost itself?”

The IIPP recommends that instead of investing in noise-canceling headphones or portable espresso makers, these individuals consider a robust laundry service or, failing that, a very large incinerator. The study also noted a significant uptick in “accidental” luggage misplacement, particularly when said luggage contained an egregious amount of unlaundered undergarments.

Experts now suggest that the global travel industry might be inadvertently propped up by a collective aversion to domestic chores.