LES EYZIES, FRANCE – A groundbreaking new study published in the *Proceedings of the National Academy of Sciences* has definitively concluded that ancient cave paintings in France are, indeed, quite old. The research, spearheaded by a team from the CNRS, employed advanced dating techniques to establish the first absolute chronology for the Paleolithic masterpieces at Font-de-Gaume, confirming they predate last Tuesday.

“Our sophisticated analysis, involving radiocarbon dating and other highly complex methodologies, has allowed us to pinpoint with unprecedented accuracy that these paintings were not, as some fringe theories suggested, created by a bored teenager last summer,” stated lead researcher Dr. Genevieve Dubois, wiping a bead of sweat from her brow. “This is a monumental step forward in understanding that things that look ancient often are.”

Critics of the study, primarily local schoolchildren, questioned the necessity of the multi-million-dollar project. “Didn’t we already know they were old? They’re, like, in a cave,” remarked 9-year-old Antoine Moreau, while expertly navigating a TikTok dance. “My grandma’s house is old, but nobody’s spending millions to prove it.”

Despite the public’s general lack of surprise, the scientific community is reportedly abuzz with the implications. “This opens the door to confirming other long-held beliefs, such as ‘water is wet’ and ‘politicians are self-serving,’” added Dr. Dubois, already eyeing her next grant application.

The findings are expected to have a profound impact on the field of archaeology, primarily by allowing archaeologists to confidently state that ancient art is, without a shadow of a doubt, not new.