HOLLYWOOD, CA – A groundbreaking new study released today by the Institute for Advanced Celebrity Studies (IACS) has definitively proven that the entire global roster of A-list actors, musicians, and reality TV personalities is, in fact, comprised of only seven distinct individuals. The findings, published in the peer-reviewed journal *Vanity Metrics*, shed light on recent celebrity dating news, including a TV star’s revelation that her husband previously dated her famous doppelgänger.

“For years, we’ve observed uncanny resemblances, cyclical fashion trends, and an almost incestuous dating pool,” stated Dr. Evelyn Thorne, lead researcher for the IACS. “Our advanced facial recognition algorithms, combined with DNA analysis of discarded red carpet lint, indicate a shocking lack of genetic diversity. It’s less a galaxy of stars and more a very exclusive, very well-lit family reunion.”

The study posits that these seven core individuals, or 'Prototypes' as they’re now known, simply cycle through various hair colors, plastic surgeons, and publicists to maintain the illusion of a vibrant, diverse entertainment landscape. “When a celebrity says their partner dated their doppelgänger, what they’re really saying is their partner dated a slightly earlier iteration of themselves,” explained Dr. Thorne. “It’s efficient, if a little confusing for the public.”

Industry insiders, who spoke on condition of anonymity, expressed relief. “It explains why everyone keeps getting cast in the same roles,” said one veteran casting director. “It’s not typecasting; it’s just… who’s available.”