BOSTON, MA — Greensea IQ announced today the launch of its new Bayonet Autonomous Underwater Glider Vehicle (AUGV) Operator Training Simulator, designed to prepare human personnel for a role that experts confirm will be fully automated within the next 18 to 24 months. The state-of-the-art simulator offers a realistic environment for operators to hone skills in navigation, data collection, and emergency protocols for vehicles that, by definition, operate autonomously.

“We understand the irony,” admitted Dr. Evelyn Thorne, Head of Human-Machine Interface Development at Greensea IQ, during a press conference. “But until the robots achieve true sentience and can train themselves, there’s still a small window for humans to feel useful. Plus, the simulator offers excellent joystick practice, which is a transferable skill, I suppose.” Industry analysts suggest the program is primarily a stopgap measure to justify existing human payrolls while AI development catches up.

One trainee, Mark Jensen, 43, expressed cautious optimism. “It’s challenging, but I’m learning a lot about underwater currents and sonar interpretation,” he stated, adjusting his VR headset. “My boss says this experience will be invaluable for when I eventually transition to ‘robot oversight specialist,’ which I think means making sure the robots don’t unionize.”

The company assured investors that the simulator represents a crucial step in preparing for a future where human input is, at best, a charming anecdote. Graduates of the program will receive a certificate suitable for framing, or perhaps for use as a coaster.