CONCORD, NH – Following the New Hampshire House's approval of a ban on 'political' flags in public schools, districts across the state are preparing for a new era of rigorously neutral visual environments. Experts anticipate a surge in demand for blank walls and whiteboards, as any image, color, or even specific geometric shape could potentially be interpreted as a subtle nod to a partisan agenda.

“We’re moving towards a truly post-symbolic learning space,” stated Dr. Evelyn Hawthorne, head of the newly formed Office of Apolitical Aesthetics for the New Hampshire Department of Education. “Our goal is to ensure no student feels implicitly swayed by a banner that, say, features a bird known for migrating south, or a color scheme that might coincidentally align with a historical political movement. We’re even reviewing the political implications of the alphabet – why 26 letters? Who decided that? Was it a partisan act?”

Teachers are reportedly being advised to use only universally accepted, non-controversial imagery, such as abstract squiggles or the molecular structure of water, provided it hasn't been co-opted by a lobbying group. “My history class now covers the American Revolution using only interpretive dance and a series of emotionally neutral grunts,” reported one anonymous high school teacher. “It’s challenging, but at least no one can accuse me of promoting a particular 'side' of the Boston Tea Party.”

Future curriculum updates are expected to include a module on 'The Art of Non-Committal Hand Gestures' and 'How to Discuss the Weather Without Implying Climate Change.'