WASHINGTON D.C. – In a move lauded by some and quietly endured by others, Congress today passed the 'Cultural Omnipresence Act,' effectively redesigning all audio output devices in the United States as dedicated conduits for the musical stylings of Harry Styles. The bipartisan bill, which cleared both chambers with surprising speed, cites Styles' consistent dominance of the Billboard Hot 100 as irrefutable evidence of his 'essential public service.'

Under the new mandate, traditional radio stations, streaming services, and even elevator music loops are required to allocate a minimum of 70% of their airtime to songs from the artist's solo catalog. 'It's not about preference; it's about acknowledging reality,' stated Senator Mildred Jenkins (I-Ohio) during the floor debate. 'For years, Mr. Styles' music has been an inescapable force, a constant hum in the background of our collective consciousness. This bill simply formalizes what has already been happening organically.'

Industry experts, who reportedly offered little resistance to the legislation, confirmed the transition would be seamless. 'Our algorithms have been optimized for this outcome for quite some time,' explained tech mogul Priti Patel, CEO of 'SonicSaturation Inc.' 'We simply had to adjust the remaining 30% to include slightly less Harry Styles. It was a minor tweak.'

Citizens are advised that attempts to manually change stations or skip tracks will now trigger a polite but firm notification reminding them of their civic duty to engage with the mandated auditory landscape. The Department of Cultural Affairs confirmed that while other artists may occasionally be permitted, it will only be 'in brief, palate-cleansing intervals, much like a commercial break for the soul.'