WASHINGTON D.C. – As gas prices continue their seasonal ascent, reaching levels not seen since the 'Great Ukraine Shock of 2022,' behavioral economists have identified the distinct psychological phases Americans undergo each time the pump total starts to look like a phone number.

“It begins with denial, typically a muttered 'no way' at the station, followed by a frantic check of other stations on an app that always lies,” explained Dr. Evelyn Reed, lead researcher at the Institute for Mundane Misery Studies. “Then comes anger, usually directed at a vague 'them' – oil companies, politicians, the guy in the oversized truck blocking the pump. Bargaining involves promising oneself to carpool or bike, a promise rarely kept past Tuesday.”

The final stage, reluctant acceptance, is characterized by a resigned sigh and the mental re-prioritization of discretionary spending. “That new streaming service? Gone. That avocado toast? Now just toast,” Dr. Reed added. “It's a deeply ingrained cultural ritual, almost as American as complaining about the weather or arguing with your uncle on Thanksgiving.”

Oil industry spokesperson, Brock Sterling, assured the public that the current price increases are merely 'market corrections' and 'seasonal adjustments' designed to ensure a robust and unpredictable energy sector. “Think of it as a national team-building exercise,” Sterling stated. “Everyone gets to participate in the shared experience of financial anxiety.”

Analysts predict the cycle will repeat precisely next year, possibly sooner if someone sneezes near an oil rig.