PASADENA, CA – Ambitious plans to terraform Mars have reportedly ground to a halt after a groundbreaking new study revealed the project would require an unprecedented amount of industrial effort, a level of commitment previously only observed in the development of new streaming services.

According to a pre-print paper from NASA's Jet Propulsion Laboratory, transforming the Red Planet isn't just a matter of 'warming it up a bit' but an 'industrial nightmare' involving resources and coordination far beyond humanity's current demonstrated capabilities for, say, fixing potholes or agreeing on a universal phone charger.

“We initially thought it would be like a really big home renovation, maybe a bit more complex than assembling IKEA furniture,” stated lead researcher Dr. Kaelen Vance, adjusting his glasses. “But it turns out you can’t just buy a planet-sized air purifier and a few billion tons of topsoil from Amazon. The sheer logistics of moving that much material, let alone building the infrastructure, made our interns cry.”

Critics of the project, primarily Earth-bound environmentalists, noted the irony of struggling to manage climate change on one planet while simultaneously planning to build another from scratch. “It’s like trying to build a second, identical house because you can’t be bothered to clean your current one,” remarked environmental policy analyst, Brenda Harrison. “Except this house is a hostile, radiation-blasted rock.”

NASA officials are now reportedly pivoting to a more achievable goal: convincing everyone Mars is perfectly fine as is, and perhaps just needs a better PR team.