MANCHESTER, UK — Manchester United has announced it is proceeding with its pursuit of Barcelona midfielder Marc Lopez, despite reports indicating Lopez would prefer to stay at his current club. Sources close to the Red Devils confirm that a player's personal preference is now considered a 'non-binding advisory' in the club's robust transfer strategy.

“While we appreciate Mr. Lopez expressing his feelings, frankly, that’s adorable,” stated United’s Head of Strategic Acquisitions, Reginald Ponsonby-Smythe, from his offshore yacht. “Our data models, which incorporate everything from social media sentiment to the player’s projected FIFA rating in three years, clearly indicate he belongs at Old Trafford. His emotional state is, regrettably, not a primary variable in our proprietary algorithm.”

Insiders suggest United’s approach is part of a wider industry trend where clubs prioritize market value and brand fit over the quaint notion of player agency. “It’s about asset management,” explained Dr. Evelyn Reed, a sports economics pundit from the London School of Advanced Capitalism. “A player wanting to stay somewhere else just means his current club hasn't adequately monetized his emotional connection yet. We see this as an opportunity.”

Lopez, who reportedly told Barcelona management he was 'very happy' and 'committed to the project,' is said to be confused by the ongoing negotiations. A United spokesperson clarified, “We understand this might be new to him. We’re prepared to offer a substantial salary increase, a new car, and a personalized onboarding experience that includes a tour of our state-of-the-art training facility, regardless of his initial reservations.”

The club remains confident that once Lopez experiences the sheer financial gravity of their offer, his 'desire to stay' will quickly evolve into a 'desire to sign.'