LOS ANGELES, CA – Streaming behemoth Hulu has reportedly shelved its much-anticipated 'Buffy the Vampire Slayer' reboot, with sources close to the production indicating the decision was made after a deep dive into user data revealed a significant dip in vampire-related content consumption during daylight hours.

Actress Sarah Michelle Gellar, who played the original titular slayer, confirmed the project was not moving forward, though she did not elaborate on the specific metrics that led to its demise. However, a leaked internal memo, obtained by Hambry, cited concerns that 'the inherent nocturnal nature of the primary antagonist demographic' presented a 'formidable challenge to maximizing engagement during the lucrative 9 AM to 5 PM window.'

“Our algorithms are clear: people want content they can passively consume while pretending to work,” explained Dr. Evelyn Thorne, Head of Algorithmic Content Optimization at Hulu. “And frankly, watching a teenager stake the undead just doesn’t have the same appeal as, say, a reality show about artisanal cheese makers, when you’re trying to avoid eye contact with your boss on Zoom.”

The memo further suggested that attempts to rebrand vampires as 'moody, glitter-averse influencers' or 'late-night snack enthusiasts' failed to move the needle in test audiences. Original producer Gail Berman and director Chloe Zhao were reportedly exploring options to introduce a 'solar-powered vampire' subplot, but even that proved insufficient to overcome the data's grim prognosis.

Industry analysts are now speculating on the future of other beloved franchises with nocturnal themes, with Netflix reportedly reviewing its entire 'Twilight' catalog for potential 'sunlight-friendly' edits.