BENTONVILLE, AR — Harvest Group, a firm specializing in retail growth strategies, today announced it has closed a $50 million growth investment, a move executives say will enable them to “aggressively pursue” the same core competencies they’ve been pursuing for years, but now with a larger budget for bespoke coffee machines.

The investment, led by a private equity firm that prefers to remain anonymous for tax purposes, is earmarked for “expanding technology and retail capabilities.” Industry analysts interpret this as upgrading their PowerPoint templates and purchasing a new, more ergonomic brand of office chairs.

“This capital infusion allows us to double down on our commitment to… you know… growth,” stated CEO Sarah Jenkins in a press release that used the word 'synergy' eight times. “We’re talking next-level, paradigm-shifting, disruptive solutions for our clients, who will now benefit from our ability to afford better catering for meetings.”

According to an anonymous source within the company, the primary technological advancement will be a new internal messaging system that promises to streamline communication by adding more emojis. “It’s revolutionary,” the source whispered. “Before, we just used Slack. Now, it’s… a different Slack, but with more capital behind it.”

The company assured stakeholders that despite the massive investment, clients can expect the same predictable results, just delivered with a greater sense of financial gravitas.