WASHINGTON D.C. — A former high-ranking official from the Department of Government Ethics (DOGE) has clarified that the extensive Social Security data he allegedly transferred to his new private sector position was solely for 'personal, organizational purposes,' and not, as some have suggested, to monetize the private information of millions of Americans.

Dr. Phineas T. Whistlewick, a former Assistant Deputy Director of Ethical Compliance at DOGE, stated through a spokesperson that the data, comprising detailed records of over 60 million citizens, was simply a 'comfort blanket' he needed to transition into his new role as Chief Data Monetization Officer at 'DataHarvest Solutions, Inc.'

“Dr. Whistlewick is a creature of habit,” explained his public relations representative, Ms. Brenda Loophole. “He simply feels more productive when surrounded by familiar datasets. It’s no different than bringing your favorite coffee mug to a new office, just… with more personally identifiable information.” Loophole added that any insinuation of malicious intent was 'deeply offensive' and 'an affront to the American spirit of entrepreneurial data aggregation.'

Sources close to DataHarvest Solutions, Inc. confirmed that the company was 'thrilled' with Dr. Whistlewick's proactive approach to data acquisition. “It really cut down on our onboarding time,” said CEO Brock Sterling, whose company recently secured a multi-billion dollar contract to 'optimize targeted advertising for vulnerable populations.'