LOS ANGELES — Former NBA center Dwight Howard appeared remarkably composed at a recent Lakers game, despite fresh allegations from his estranged wife regarding drug use. Sources close to Howard indicate his serene demeanor stems from a long-standing personal policy of only engaging with one existential crisis at a time.

“Look, the man has been traded more times than a rental car, he’s got a complex relationship with free throws, and he’s still trying to figure out how to get a decent Wi-Fi signal in his guest house,” explained longtime associate, Marcus ‘Mookie’ Jenkins. “You think a little thing like a public accusation is going to rattle him? He’s got bigger fish to fry, like whether his smoothie recipe is truly optimized for peak performance.”

Howard’s agent, who asked to remain anonymous while attempting to secure a new endorsement deal for artisanal beard oil, confirmed the athlete’s pragmatic approach. “Dwight is a master of compartmentalization. He’s currently focused on perfecting his post-up game in a league that barely uses post-ups, and frankly, that takes up most of his emotional bandwidth. The rest is just background noise.”

Experts suggest Howard’s ability to project calm in the face of chaos is a highly evolved coping mechanism, likely developed during years of navigating locker room drama and the relentless pursuit of a championship ring he never quite got.