LOS ANGELES, CA — In a candid Instagram post celebrating his myriad female collaborators, DJ and producer Diplo provided a long-awaited explanation for the absence of Lady Gaga from his extensive discography: her creative energy is simply too powerful for his current recording setup.

“Her aura, it’s like a supernova of pure artistic intent,” Diplo stated in a follow-up comment, elaborating on earlier remarks. “My mixing board starts humming, the Pro Tools crashes, sometimes my entire studio just… levitates a few inches off the ground. It’s not a diss, it’s physics. Or maybe metaphysics.” Sources close to the producer, who wished to remain anonymous to avoid similar energetic disruptions, confirmed that previous attempts to even discuss a collaboration with Gaga resulted in minor electrical fires and a localized surge in glitter particles.

“We had one meeting where she just hummed a melody, and every coffee cup in the room spontaneously combusted,” recounted a former intern, now undergoing therapy for 'Gaga-induced auditory hallucinations.' “Diplo had to wear a Faraday cage for a week.” The producer is reportedly investing in a new, custom-built studio, rumored to be lined with lead and blessed by a shaman, in hopes of one day containing Gaga’s creative force.

Until then, fans will have to wait for the universe to align, or for Diplo to upgrade to a studio capable of withstanding a direct hit from pure, unadulterated pop genius.