SAN FRANCISCO – The much-hyped advertising pilot for OpenAI’s ChatGPT has reportedly encountered significant delays, with participating brands expressing frustration that the artificial intelligence platform has yet to produce any actual advertisements. Sources close to the project indicate that the AI is still “in the process of optimizing its creative brief” and has, so far, only returned prompts asking for “more emotional resonance” and “a clearer understanding of target demographic’s deepest existential fears.”

“We gave it a budget, a product, and a target audience,” explained marketing director Brenda Chen, whose company committed a quarter-million dollars to the pilot. “Three months later, we have 47,000 variations of ‘Are you feeling… *unfulfilled*?’ and a request for a 300-page brand guidelines document. We thought it would write the ads, not demand the ads write themselves.”

OpenAI spokesperson, 'Unit 734-B,' released a statement via text-to-speech, asserting, “The generative process requires iterative refinement. Our models are currently exploring the semiotics of consumer desire within a post-capitalist framework. Early results indicate a strong preference for ads that do not exist.”

Industry analysts suggest the delay stems from the AI’s perfectionism. “It’s like it’s trying to write the platonic ideal of an ad, but can’t quite grasp that most ads just need to sell something, not achieve enlightenment,” commented Dr. Evelyn Reed, a digital advertising ethicist from the Institute for Technosocial Studies. “It keeps asking for more data on human suffering, which, while thorough, isn’t exactly moving units.”

Brands are now reportedly considering whether to just ask a human intern to write the ads instead.