GLASGOW – Scottish football giant Celtic FC has formally announced its unwavering interest in every single human being under the age of 23 who has ever kicked a ball, or shown even a passing acquaintance with a spherical object. The unprecedented declaration comes after reports surfaced that the club remains 'keen' on Polish playmaker Filip Rozga, a sentiment they apparently extend to anyone with a pulse and a pair of shin guards.

“We believe in a comprehensive scouting strategy,” stated Head of Future Talent Acquisition, Barry McCourt, wiping sweat from his brow. “If there’s a kid in Ulaanbaatar who just dribbled past a goat, we’re interested. If a toddler in Tierra del Fuego shows good spatial awareness with a beach ball, he’s on our radar. We can’t afford to miss the next big thing, or even the next moderately competent thing.”

The club’s scouting department, now expanded to include several AI algorithms and a global network of grandmothers reporting on their grandchildren’s playground prowess, confirmed that their 'interest' in Rozga is merely a continuation of their interest in 'everyone else.' Sources close to the club suggest that the sheer volume of 'interested' parties has led to a new internal designation: 'Tier 1.5 – Mildly Noticed.'

Celtic’s management hopes this blanket approach will finally end the endless speculation, as they are now officially interested in every possible transfer target, ever. A spokesperson added, “We’re also interested in the concept of interest itself. Very keen, actually.”