LOS ANGELES, CA — A groundbreaking new study released today confirms that movies starring actors who have been in other movies, and directed by filmmakers who have also directed other movies, tend to perform well on streaming platforms. The report, commissioned by the Institute for Obvious Conclusions, analyzed recent streaming data and found a direct correlation between a film's success and its association with pre-existing intellectual property or human beings who have previously appeared on screen.

“Our research indicates a startling trend: viewers are more likely to click on something if they recognize a name or a franchise attached to it,” stated Dr. Evelyn P. Dantic, lead researcher for the institute. “For years, we’ve operated under the assumption that audiences crave pure, unadulterated novelty. This paradigm shift could revolutionize how we approach content creation, or, you know, just confirm what everyone already knew.”

Studio executives, who spoke on condition of anonymity while polishing their yachts, expressed cautious optimism. “It’s a bold new world,” remarked one unnamed studio head. “Who knew that having a 'Marvel filmmaker' or a 'Gladiator 2 star' would resonate with the public? We're talking about a potential goldmine here, assuming we can find more people who have been in things.”

Further analysis suggests that films featuring characters who are also in other films are particularly appealing to viewers, leading to speculation that future productions might simply be compilations of existing footage.