CUPERTINO, CA – Apple Inc. has officially resolved a patent infringement case, leading the company to unveil its new 'Innovation Acquisition' initiative. The program, sources close to the company confirm, is designed to streamline the process by which Apple incorporates groundbreaking technologies developed by smaller, less litigious entities into its own ecosystem.

“We believe in the power of human ingenuity,” stated Apple’s newly appointed Head of Strategic Integration, Brock Hardcastle, in a press release. “And sometimes, that ingenuity manifests itself outside our immediate campus. Our new program ensures that these external innovations are quickly and efficiently brought under the Apple umbrella, where they can truly flourish – or at least, cease to be a legal nuisance.”

The details of the recent settlement remain confidential, but industry analysts suggest it involved a sum large enough to make the original coding company question why they bothered with the 'coding' part at all. “It’s a win-win,” explained legal expert Dr. Fiona Doolittle. “Apple gets to continue innovating, and the little guy gets a check that says, ‘Please don’t sue us again, and also, we own your idea now.’”

Apple’s CEO Tim Cook reportedly lauded the program as a testament to the company’s forward-thinking approach, ensuring that no good idea goes unpurchased.