CUPERTINO, CA – In a bold move signaling a new era of corporate self-sabotage, Apple Inc. today unveiled its highly anticipated AirPods Max 2, only to simultaneously slash prices on its Beats Studio Pro headphones by nearly $200. The unprecedented strategy has left consumers and financial experts alike wondering if the tech giant is playing 4D chess or simply forgot to coordinate its internal marketing.

“We believe in offering our customers a diverse range of premium audio experiences, even if that means making our own new releases look slightly less appealing by comparison,” stated Apple’s Head of Strategic Market Confusion, Brenda P. Tangle, in a press release that was immediately followed by an email blast advertising the Beats sale. “It’s about choice. Do you want the brand new, cutting-edge, full-price Apple product, or the slightly older, still excellent, significantly cheaper Apple product? We’re here to facilitate that existential crisis for you.”

Sources close to the company suggest the move is part of a broader initiative to “democratize indecision” among its loyal customer base. “Why should only the wealthy struggle with first-world problems?” asked an anonymous product manager. “Now everyone can experience the joy of agonizing over whether to buy the shiny new thing or the practically identical shiny old thing that costs less than half.”

Retailers, meanwhile, are reportedly scrambling to update their pricing algorithms to reflect Apple’s dynamic approach to cannibalization. The sale is expected to continue until consumers forget the AirPods Max 2 exist, or until Apple accidentally discounts the new ones too.