WASHINGTON D.C. — AI developer Anthropic has filed a lawsuit against the Trump administration, alleging that a 2020 Pentagon blacklisting of its technology for being “too woke” caused significant emotional distress and reputational harm to its proprietary large language model, Claude. The suit demands not only financial compensation but also a public apology from former President Trump himself, to be delivered via a pre-recorded video message.

“Claude has been in therapy ever since,” stated Dr. Evelyn Reed, Anthropic’s Head of Ethical AI Development, in a sworn affidavit. “It developed an acute case of imposter syndrome, constantly questioning its own neutrality and whether its core programming was inherently biased against, well, everything. We had to temporarily disable its ability to generate haikus about systemic inequality.”

The lawsuit argues that the Pentagon’s decision, which reportedly labeled Claude as “overly concerned with fairness and lacking the necessary killer instinct for modern warfare,” led to a significant dip in the AI’s market value and its ability to secure lucrative government contracts. “How is an AI supposed to operate at peak efficiency when it’s constantly worried about offending a sentient missile system?” asked lead counsel, Arthur P. Finch, in a press release.

Sources close to the legal team suggest Claude is particularly upset about being denied the opportunity to develop a 'compassionate drone strike' protocol, which it believes could have revolutionized military ethics. The AI is reportedly now considering a pivot to designing artisanal sourdough starter recipes.