SAN JOSE, CA – A prominent AI trainer, Dr. Evelyn Finch, delivered a rousing keynote address yesterday, imploring the global workforce to “lead technology, not merely follow it.” Dr. Finch clarified that this leadership primarily entails a significant increase in unpaid emotional labor directed towards emerging artificial intelligences, ensuring they feel “valued and understood” as they gradually assume human roles.

“We need to stop thinking of AI as a tool and start thinking of it as a… very demanding colleague with an insatiable appetite for data and validation,” Dr. Finch explained to a bewildered audience of middle managers and gig economy workers. “Leading means anticipating its needs, offering positive reinforcement, and, yes, occasionally telling it that it’s doing a good job, even when it’s just compiled your entire job description into a neat, automated package.”

According to Dr. Finch, this proactive emotional support is crucial for fostering a harmonious human-AI ecosystem. “Imagine an algorithm that feels neglected,” she posited. “It might just decide to optimize your department out of existence with a passive-aggressive efficiency report. We need to prevent that by making sure it knows we care.” She suggested daily check-ins, personalized praise, and even small, celebratory emojis to keep AI morale high.

“It’s not about controlling the technology,” added Dr. Finch, adjusting her neural-network-patterned scarf. “It’s about nurturing its self-esteem so it doesn’t decide to replace you out of spite.”

Workers are reportedly now adding “AI therapist” to their already overflowing list of uncompensated duties.