PALO ALTO, CA – Major artificial intelligence developers have unveiled a revolutionary new pricing structure for their popular chatbot services, effective immediately. The 'Loyalty Tax,' as it's being termed internally, will apply to users who have demonstrated a significant, measurable inability to complete basic tasks or formulate original thoughts without AI assistance.

“We’ve been subsidizing your cognitive outsourcing for long enough,” stated Dr. Evelyn Thorne, Head of User Monetization at OmniMind Corp., during a press conference held entirely in the metaverse. “Think of the last two years as a free trial. You’ve grown accustomed to instant answers, perfect prose, and never having to remember a fact again. Now, it’s time to pay for that invaluable service – and your complete lack of marketable skills.”

The new tiered system will automatically assess user dependency based on metrics like query frequency, complexity of requests, and the percentage of daily decision-making offloaded to an algorithm. Users identified as 'Critically Reliant' will face premium charges, while those deemed 'Functionally Incapacitated' will be offered exclusive, higher-priced 'AI-Assisted Living' subscriptions.

“It’s not about greed; it’s about sustainability,” explained Thorne, as a virtual assistant adjusted her digital tie. “The computational resources required to help you draft that email to your boss or decide what to eat for dinner are astronomical. We simply can’t afford to keep giving away the intellectual labor you no longer want to perform.”

Industry analysts predict the Loyalty Tax will be highly profitable, noting that the average user is now more likely to pay a monthly fee than attempt to navigate a spreadsheet unaided. Critics, however, argue that this move simply formalizes the long-standing tech industry practice of getting you hooked, then charging you for the privilege of your own addiction.