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#washington d-c

Aggregates satirical news about Washington D.C. politics, government agencies, and capital life. Features humor and parody

Weather Warning: Outside May Contain Weather
washington d-c

Experts Warn 'Outside' May Contain 'Weather' Throughout the Day

Officials Urge Public to Brace for Unprecedented Atmospheric Conditions That Are Exactly Like Conditions From Last Week.

2 views·May 14
Politicians' New Engagement Metric: Public Fury
washington d-c

Political Incumbents Unveil New ‘engagement Metric’: ‘level of Public Fury’

Strategists Confirm Latest Polling Indicates Citizens Are Achieving Unprecedented Levels of Productive Outrage, Boosting Candidate Visibility.

0 views·May 2
Tow Truck Driver Solves Climate Crisis for Experts
washington d-c

Nation's top climatologists seek insight from seasoned tow truck driver

After decades of complex modeling, federal agencies acknowledge invaluable flood zone expertise resides in those routinely pulling sedans from submerged underpasses.

0 views·Apr 22
IMF World Bank Declare "Grappling" Victory (Again!)
washington d-c

IMF-World Bank Leaders Laud Successful 'Grappling' with World's Problems for Another Year.

Delegates Report Significant Progress in the Critical Process of Acknowledging Ongoing Global Crises without Implementing Any Drastic Changes.

0 views·Apr 15
Politicians Union: Protecting Their 'Sacred' Perks
washington d-c

Elected Officials Form Union to Safeguard 'Sacred' Incumbent Benefits

The Newly Established "Legislative Perks and Continuity Collective" Aims to Solidify Privileges Often Considered 'Essential' to Effective Governance.

0 views·Apr 14
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Unpredictable Weather: New Study Stuns Experts
washington d-c

Study Confirms Weather Unpredictable; Sunshine May Yield to Rain

Researchers Call for Immediate Funding to Investigate the Unprecedented Phenomenon of Atmospheric Shifts.

Apr 11
Kamala Harris Ponders Re-Election She's Already Pursuing
washington d-c

VP Harris Deeply Ponders Re-Election Bid She's Already Pursuing

The Vice President Acknowledged the "Heartfelt Request" from Supporters to Continue Serving in Her Current Capacity.

1 views·Apr 11
NoMa Weather Now Sovereign Nation, D.C. Experts Baffled
washington d-c

NoMa's Unique Weather Declared Sovereign, Independent from D.C.

Federal Meteorologists Cite 'Unprecedented Atmospheric Exceptionalism' Requiring Bespoke Governmental Oversight for the Gentrifying Neighborhood.

Apr 10
CDC Embraces Vibrational Truth: Science Redefined
washington d-c

CDC Advisory Panel Now Accepts 'Vibrational Truth' in Evidence Review

This Groundbreaking Update Aims to Diversify Scientific Discourse beyond Mere Peer-Reviewed Studies.

Apr 10
Fragile Truce: US, Iran Accused of Excessive Side-Eye
washington d-c

US, Iran 'Fragile Truce' Tested by Mutual Allegations of 'Excessive Side-Eye'

International Monitors Express Concern that the Agreement, Forged Only Last Tuesday, May Not Survive until Lunch.

Apr 9
Pundit's War Plan: Maximize Engagement, Go Viral!
washington d-c

Pundit's Pentagon Shake-up Driven by 'Market Research' for War

Analysts Suggest New Military Appointments Based on 'Audience Engagement Scores' and 'Viral Potential' to Enhance Strategic Messaging.

Apr 5
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