#nhl

Explore satirical news and humor about the National Hockey League (NHL). Find funny articles, parody, and jokes on NHL teams, players, and games

12 stories

Change of Scenery: Real Meaning Revealed

nhl

League Confirms "Change-Of-Scenery" Is Corporate Speak for "You Suck Here"

NHL General Managers Quietly Admit the Beloved Sports Cliché Simply Means a Team Has Decided a Player's Performance Has Become Another Franchise's Fiscal and Emotional Burden.

0 views·May 28

Norris Trophy Becomes Goals-Only Award for Defensemen

nhl

NHL Formally Redefines Norris Trophy as 'Most Goals Scored by a Defenseman' Award

League Officials Confirm Criteria Shift After Years of Awarding Top Offensive Blueliners.

0 views·May 7

Championship DNA: Devils Import, Skip Team Building

nhl

Devils import 'championship DNA' from Panthers, expect immediate results

New Jersey franchise touts proprietary 'success transfer' technology with recent general manager hire.

1 views·Apr 22

Ovechkin ponders immense burden of NHL glory

nhl

Ovechkin to Ponder Immense Burden of Another Year of NHL Glory

The Future Hall-of-Famer Is Reportedly Grappling with the Monumental Personal Cost of Continuing His Highly Compensated Career.

0 views·Apr 13

Kraken Exec Departs: Seattle Now Has Hockey!

nhl

Kraken Executive Exits After Solidifying Seattle's Firm Grasp on 'a Hockey Team'

The Departure Marks the End of an Era Defined by a Professional Sports Franchise Consistently Maintaining a Record Above Zero Wins.

0 views·Apr 12

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Devils Unveil "Scoring More Goals" Strategy. Genius!

nhl

Devils to Explore Revolutionary Concept of 'Scoring More Goals'

Following a General Manager Change, the Team Confirmed a New Strategic Shift Aiming to Increase Puck Entries into the Opponent's Net.

Apr 7

Hambry: Islanders' New Coach Promises More of the Same.

nhl

Islanders Swap Out Coach for a Different One; Anticipate Identical Outcomes.

Organization Completes Routine 'Strategic Leadership Refresh' After Disappointing Performance, Sources Confirm Nothing Else Will Be Altered.

Apr 6

Hambry: Islanders Swap Man, Keep Plan. Success Imminent!

nhl

Islanders Replace One Man with Another, Expect Different Results

Management Insists This Time the Exact Same Strategy Will Finally Work.

1 views·Apr 6

Blue Jackets Recall Severson's Faulty Shoulder for Service

nhl

Blue Jackets Issue Recall for Defenseman's Faulty Shoulder

Team Confirms Defenseman Damon Severson Will Undergo Season-Ending Service on Critical Joint.

Apr 4

NHL: Regular Season Champs Get Cup, Playoffs Are Overrated

nhl

Presidents' Trophy Now Considered Definitive Measure of NHL Dominance, Sources Confirm

Sports Leagues Reportedly Exploring Options to Award Stanley Cup to Highest-Ranked Regular Season Team to Save Time.

Apr 1

Vegas Golden Knights Coach Unveils Eye Contact System

nhl

Golden Knights Complete Traditional Coach Sacrifice, Install New System of Aggressive Eye Contact

The Struggling Franchise Hopes that Swapping One Yelling Man for Another Will Finally Unlock Potential.

Mar 30

Urgency Max: NHL Says All Regular Season Games Are Game 7S

nhl

NHL Announces All Remaining Regular Season Games Are Now 'Critical Game 7S'

The League's 'Urgency Maximization Protocol' Aims to Restore Meaning to 'Must-Win' Rhetoric by Mandating Playoff-Level Stakes for All Remaining Matchups.

Mar 29