#box office
Aggregated satirical news and humor about the box office, movie releases, film industry trends, and cinematic performance
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Latest Stories
Hollywood 'Unearths' 20-Year-Old Film, Promises It's 'Actually Good This Time.'
Major Studios Are Reportedly Exploring "Vintage Content Monetization Strategies" as New Ideas Prove Increasingly Elusive.
Hollywood Confirms Putting Popular Character in Movie Remains Lucrative
Industry Insiders Laud Groundbreaking Strategy of Leveraging Known Brands for Financial Gain, Hailing 'Recognition-Based Financial Symbiosis' as the Future.
'Super Mario Galaxy Movie' Proves Original Thought No Longer Needed
The Entertainment Industry, Flush with Cash, Pivots Entirely to Adapting Obscure Video Game Loading Screens.
Audiences Once Again Demonstrate Preference for Known Intellectual Property
Studio Executives Report Shock, Relief After Discovering Familiarity Reliably Generates Billions.
Major Studio Announces Critics' Opinions Now Count as "Audience Retention Data."
New Internal Metrics Prioritize 'Discourse Velocity' and 'Fandom Conversion Rate' over Traditional Critical Acclaim Following Record-Breaking Flop.
Amazon MGM Hails Record Box Office, Now Only Needs 28 More Films to Break Even on Acquisition
Industry Analysts Cautiously Celebrated the Milestone, Confirming It Puts the Studio on Track to Recoup Its $8.5 Billion Purchase Price by Approximately the Year 2087.