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Satirical news & parodies on Apple Inc. Humorous articles, ironic commentary, and funny takes on the tech company's products and culture

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Latest Stories
The latest Apple laptop offers unparalleled processing power for the one hypothetical user who requires it.
John Ternus Is Expected to Continue the Tech Giant's Unprecedented Streak of Minor Product Iterations and Record-Breaking Financial Quarters.
The Longtime Chief Executive Will Transition to an "Executive Chairman" Role, Promising a Less Demanding Schedule That Still Involves Making Every Major Decision.
A Decade After Analysts Predicted Apple’s Post-Jobs Decline, CEO Tim Cook’s Reign Proved That a Relentless Focus on Execution Can, Surprisingly, Also Lead to Trillions of Dollars.
The Tech Giant's Departure From Struggling Shopping Centers Reveals a Stark Truth: Some Retail Environments Are Beyond Even Cupertino's Magic.
Cupertino's Latest Wearable Ensures You Blend Seamlessly into Any Crowd by Making Others Actively Avoid Eye Contact.
Tech Giant Insists Closure Is Part of Broader Retail Evolution, Not Unprecedented Labor Relations Complications.
The Tech Giant's New Entry-Level Laptop Is Being Hailed as a Groundbreaking Move Towards Financial Inclusivity for the Comfortably Solvent.
The Tech Giant Assures Baseball Enthusiasts that an Expanded Digital Pathway Will Enhance Their Engagement, Provided They Authenticate Across Multiple Platforms.
Company Says Low-Rated Titles Are Crucial to Diversified Audience Engagement and 'High-Fidelity Background Noise' Segment.
A Comprehensive Internal Review of the Tech Giant's Half-Century History Reveals a Profound Strategic Misstep in Failing to Monetize Every Core User Interaction from the Outset.
The Cupertino Giant Announced a New Initiative to Ensure Every User Has at Least Four Active Subscriptions by 2030, Calling It "Digital Wellness 2.0."
The Company Lauded His Decades of 'Innovative Contributions' during His 'Amicable Separation Agreement,' Which Reportedly Included an 8-Figure Severance Package.
Apple Reaffirms Its Dedication to Thoroughly Vetting Features Already Available in Competitor Browsers for Years.




















