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Satirical news & parodies on Apple Inc. Humorous articles, ironic commentary, and funny takes on the tech company's products and culture
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Latest Stories
Silicon Valley Shocked: Operational Efficiency Also Generates Obscene Wealth.
A Decade After Analysts Predicted Apple’s Post-Jobs Decline, CEO Tim Cook’s Reign Proved That a Relentless Focus on Execution Can, Surprisingly, Also Lead to Trillions of Dollars.
6 Reasons Even Apple Can't Save Your Dying Mall
The Tech Giant's Departure From Struggling Shopping Centers Reveals a Stark Truth: Some Retail Environments Are Beyond Even Cupertino's Magic.
Apple's 'Stealth-Sight' Glasses Achieve 'Normal' Look by Emitting Social Anxiety Field
Cupertino's Latest Wearable Ensures You Blend Seamlessly into Any Crowd by Making Others Actively Avoid Eye Contact.
Apple Declares Unionized Store 'Strategically Incompatible' with Corporate Vision
Tech Giant Insists Closure Is Part of Broader Retail Evolution, Not Unprecedented Labor Relations Complications.
Apple's 'Affordable' MacBook Neo Praised for Making Brand Merely Expensive
The Tech Giant's New Entry-Level Laptop Is Being Hailed as a Groundbreaking Move Towards Financial Inclusivity for the Comfortably Solvent.
Apple Pledges 'Frictionless' MLB Access After Fans Log into 3 Apps
The Tech Giant Assures Baseball Enthusiasts that an Expanded Digital Pathway Will Enhance Their Engagement, Provided They Authenticate Across Multiple Platforms.
Apple Confirms 'Strategic Mediocrity' Content Division Exceeding Targets
Company Says Low-Rated Titles Are Crucial to Diversified Audience Engagement and 'High-Fidelity Background Noise' Segment.
Apple's Biggest Failure: Not Charging Subscription for Existing Apps
A Comprehensive Internal Review of the Tech Giant's Half-Century History Reveals a Profound Strategic Misstep in Failing to Monetize Every Core User Interaction from the Outset.
Apple Celebrates 50 Years of Courageously Redefining how Much Money Users Will Spend.
The Cupertino Giant Announced a New Initiative to Ensure Every User Has at Least Four Active Subscriptions by 2030, Calling It "Digital Wellness 2.0."
Apple's Harassment-Accused Exec Takes 'Long-Term Paid Sabbatical from Accountability.'
The Company Lauded His Decades of 'Innovative Contributions' during His 'Amicable Separation Agreement,' Which Reportedly Included an 8-Figure Severance Package.
Safari Technology Preview Marks Decade-Long Commitment to 'Upcoming' Web Standards.
Apple Reaffirms Its Dedication to Thoroughly Vetting Features Already Available in Competitor Browsers for Years.
Apple Touts ‘Accelerated Upgrade Program’ for Older IPhones Now Vulnerable to State-Backed Hackers
Tech Giant Frames Security Lapse as a 'Proactive Nudge' Towards Enhanced User Experience and Economic Stimulus.