#media consumption
Aggregates satirical news and articles about media consumption. Explores modern habits, digital trends, and how people engage with information today
Study: 2x Speed Users Are Evolved, Unburdened by 'Nuance'
Experts Say Faster Content Consumption Proves a Superior Brain State, Not a Tiktok-Induced Attention Deficit.
Rewatching Same Content Critical for Public's 'Cognitive Stability'
A New Cultural Data Analysis Reveals That Repetitive Media Consumption Is a Key Factor in Preventing the Populace From Engaging with Any Actual Problems.
7 Unsettling Signs You've Reached Peak Streaming Dependency
From Forgotten Passwords to Existential Dread, Discover If Your Digital Entertainment Habit Has Spiraled Beyond Control.
Cable Companies Praise Colorado Springs for 'Pioneering Content-Free Experience'
Millions of Homes Reportedly Achieving Unprecedented Levels of 'Ambient Audio Awareness' and 'Unmediated Thought Processes'.
7 Signs Your Primary News Source Is Now Your Neighbor's Conspiracy Theory Podcast
In an Era Where Traditional Media Takes a Backseat, Here’s How to Tell If You’ve Officially Outsourced Your Understanding of the World to Steve From Next Door and His Garage Studio.
7 Signs You're Relying Too Heavily on Streaming Services
The comfort of endless content can slowly, subtly, warp your reality until life itself feels like a poorly written pilot.
NBC's Ratings Triumph Is Proof: Pure Light Waves Are Infinitely Superior to Mere Pixels
Forget content, forget events; the recent ratings shift reveals a profound truth about the very nature of media consumption.
Gen Z's Top 'Movies' Are Now Just 'for You Page' Compilations, Study Finds
A Groundbreaking New Report Reveals That the Generation's Most Acclaimed Cinematic Experiences Are Indistinguishable From Algorithmic Content Feeds.
Spotify Adds Physical Books to Catalog, Finally Completing Its Transformation into Amazon
The Streaming Giant Confirmed the Move Is Part of Its 'Holistic Content Consumption Strategy' to Capture Every Remaining Minute of Disposable Income.
Our Children's Minds Are Wasting Away: Give Them Military Newspapers!
The Time for Saccharine Stories and Frivolous Fiction Is Over; Real-World Reporting Is the Only Curriculum Our Youth Need.
HBO Max Hit Built on Nation's Collective Apathy, Data Reveals
New Internal Metrics Suggest Viewers Prioritize "Active Background Presence" over Plot Engagement for Streaming Success.
Dallas Paper Publishes Sunday TV Schedule, Igniting 'Scheduled Content' Debate
The Dallas News' Decision to Print Its Traditional Daily Programming Guide Has Reportedly Thrown the City into a Philosophical Quandary Regarding the Nature of Media Consumption.
Fans Require 'Doctoral Thesis' to Access Marlins-Tigers Game
A Recent New York Times Guide on Viewing Options Has Revealed the Intricate, Multi-Platform Labyrinth Now Necessary for Basic Sports Consumption.
NCAA Title Game Viewership Proves Americans Still Know how to Operate Televisions
Industry Experts Are Hailing Monday's Championship Audience as a Critical Indicator that Basic Media Literacy Has Not yet Fully Eroded.
Automakers Finally Notice Gen Z Isn't Watching Cable
Industry Experts Reportedly Shocked by Data Indicating Primary Advertising Demographic Has Migrated to Platforms outside Linear Television.
Viewers Urged to Obtain Advanced Certification before Attempting NBA Game
New Industry Standard Set as Media Consumption Landscape Deemed Too Complex for Unaccredited Individuals.
Iconic TV Network Confused Why Fewer Americans Own VHS Players
Executives at the Struggling Channel Expressed Bafflement at Plummeting Viewership, Citing a Possible Shift in Consumer Behavior Away from Analog Media.
Experts Develop 7-Step Flowchart for Watching Sports
A New Framework Aims to Alleviate Viewer Confusion, Though Critics Warn It May Require a Dedicated Team of IT Professionals.
