The News, Remastered

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#box office success

Satirical news articles on box office success. Features parodies and funny takes on movie revenues, film industry trends, and blockbuster hits

Hollywood Execs Hail New Strategy: Just Make Old Movies Again
Studio Heads Confirm New Era of Content Will Feature Only Familiar Stories and Existing Brands.
Hollywood Officially Abandons Original Ideas After 'Mario Galaxy' Record
Major Studios Confirm Shift to 100% Pre-Existing Intellectual Property, Citing 'Unnecessary Risk' of Novelty.
Hit Film's 'Comedy' Is Shared Societal Dread
The Blockbuster Success of 'No Other Choice' Signals a Public Increasingly Comfortable with Cinema that Offers No Comfort.
Hollywood to Only Adapt Pre-Existing IPs After 'Super Mario Galaxy' Success
A Seismic Shift in Content Strategy Will See Studios Focus Entirely on Adapting Familiar Brands, Memes, and Even Collective Unconscious Thoughts.
Hollywood Declares Original Ideas Financially Irresponsible
Following 'Super Mario Galaxy Movie's' Overwhelming Box Office Dominance, Major Studios Confirm a Definitive Shift Away from Unproven Narratives.

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