Articles Published February 20, 2026 — Hambry

Wednesday, April 22, 2026 Home

Osaka Bureaucrats Stunned by Gold Bar Donation, Immediately Form 17 Subcommittees to Determine Proper Storage Protocol Politics
Pacemaker Signal Leads Search Team to World's Largest Ball of Twine, Not Missing Woman Weird
OpenAI Unveils 'Fear of Missing Out' Division to Monetize National Insecurity Tech
Nation's Judiciary Declared 'Insufficiently Bootlicking' by Self-Appointed Supreme Arbitrator of Loyalty Politics
Satirical Take On: on Pins and Needles: Why Olympians Pass the Time Knitting Sports
Elite Thai Police Lion Dance Unit Deemed 'Too Effective' After Arresting Man Who Just Looked Shifty Weird
Nation's Gyms Face Existential Threat as January Supplement Sales Surge 4000%, No One Actually Works Out Corporate
Asos Co-Founder's Untimely Demise Traced to 'Excessive Lifestyle of Discounted Fast Fashion' Corporate
Nation's Top Legal Minds Declare 'Public Office' Now Officially 'Anywhere a Biscuit Can Be Eaten' Politics
Remote Russian Village Declares Itself 'Women-Only Paradise,' Cites 'Uninterrupted Peace and Quiet' Weird
London Couple Trades Terraced Home for 80-Acre Welsh Wilderness, Immediately Demands Starbucks, Uber Eats Access Lifestyle
Bare-Knuckle Boxing Declared 'Safest Sport' After Study Finds 100% of Participants Still Have Hands Weird
Venezuela Unveils 'Freedom Lottery' for Political Prisoners, Critics Decry Lack of Scratch-off Option Politics
U.S. Blockade Now so Effective, Cuba Reportedly Importing Nothing but Regret Politics
Times Editorial Board Grapples with Existential Dread After Momentarily Considering Reporting on Royal Arrest Weird
Police Conclude Mansion Search After Finding Only 'Slightly Used' Royal Dignity Weird
MAHA Moms Demand Return to Pre-Trump Era of Mild Discontent, Citing Exhaustion from Constant Outrage Politics
Bard College President's Epstein Ties Deemed 'Aesthetic Choice' by Review Board Politics
Former Statesman George Mitchell Now under Scrutiny for Allegedly Bringing 'Peace' to Epstein's Island Politics
Nation Braces for War After President Declines to Explain 'the Why' Politics
Fed Considers Replacing Entire Workforce with Single, Highly Efficient AI Named 'Janet' Finance
Trump Rebrands Russia as 'the Great Investment Opportunity,' Citing 'Tremendous' Return on Friendship Politics
Market Analysts Confirm Stock Market Now Operating Solely on 'Vibes,' 'Good Feels' Finance
Deep State Announces Mandate for Chin Diapers Ahead of 2026 Midterms to Combat 'Existential Threat' of Free-Flowing Jawlines Politics
Royal Family Announces 'Full and Wholehearted Cooperation' with Authorities Investigating Andrew's 'Missing Sock' Incident Politics
Hamas Announces Groundbreaking 'Democratic Transition' with First-Ever Leadership Lotto Politics
Satirical Take On: Deer Culling to Be Made Easier to Protect Trees and Crops Politics
Grey's Anatomy Producers Confirm Eric Dane's ALS Diagnosis Was 'Perfectly Timed' for Upcoming Story Arc Culture
Man Convicted of 'Extreme Inconvenience' After Girlfriend Freezes to Death on Mountain Weird
Man Successfully Proves XL Bullies Are 'Friendly' by Offering Mother-in-Law as Sacrifice Weird
Bard College President Honored for 'Innovative Fundraising Techniques,' Including 'Philanthropic Politeness Calls' Corporate
GB Women's Curling Team Eliminated After Opponents Insist on Playing Entire Game Sports
Nation Holds Breath as UK Skier Zoe Atkin Qualifies for Halfpipe Final, Threatening to Disrupt Centuries of Underperformance Sports