LOS ANGELES – In a move hailed by archaeologists and decried by literally everyone else, Ye has announced his upcoming album, 'Bully,' will be released exclusively on a series of cuneiform-inscribed clay tablets. The artist, who recently confirmed a performance at SoFi Stadium, stated the decision was a return to “foundational truth” and a rejection of “the fleeting ephemera of digital sound waves.”

Fans eager to experience tracks like “My Truth Is Louder Than Your Facts” and “Cancel Culture Can’t Cancel Stone” will need to acquire specialized chisels and a working knowledge of Akkadian. “This isn’t about streams, it’s about permanence,” explained a spokesperson for Ye, who identified themselves only as 'Tablet Master G.' “When the internet collapses, when the servers are dust, 'Bully' will endure. Its message, literally carved in stone, will outlast us all.”

Music industry analysts are reportedly baffled. “We’ve seen NFTs, we’ve seen exclusive apps, but this… this is a new level of anti-consumerism,” said Dr. Evelyn Reed, a cultural anthropologist specializing in media consumption. “It’s either genius performance art or a man who genuinely believes he’s communicating with ancient deities. Frankly, it’s getting harder to tell the difference.”

Early reports suggest the tablets will weigh approximately 5-7 pounds each, requiring a significant investment in both deciphering tools and structural reinforcement for listeners' homes.