LOS ANGELES – A local woman has filed a lawsuit against an NFL wide receiver, alleging assault and battery, but primarily seeking damages for the profound social inconvenience of having to repeatedly clarify his identity to her social circle. Madison Atiabi claims the alleged incident with Los Angeles Rams player Puka Nacua has left her with emotional distress, not from the physical altercation itself, but from the constant need to provide biographical context.

“Every time I tell someone I was allegedly bitten by an NFL player, their immediate follow-up is, ‘Who?’,” stated Atiabi’s attorney, Brenda Albright, in a press conference. “The psychological toll of having to explain his rookie season statistics, his draft position, and the nuances of the Rams’ receiving corps has been absolutely devastating. My client is exhausted from being an unsolicited NFL analyst.”

According to court documents, Atiabi is seeking compensation for therapy sessions aimed at coping with the repetitive explanations, as well as for the diminished social currency of her story. “It’s just not the same as saying you were allegedly bitten by, say, Travis Kelce,” Albright added, adjusting her glasses. “The impact, the immediate recognition, the Instagram likes – it’s just not there. This has severely impacted her ability to leverage this unfortunate event for maximum personal gain.”

Legal experts suggest this case could set a precedent for future lawsuits involving public figures who, while successful, have not yet achieved household name status. Nacua’s representatives declined to comment, presumably because they were busy explaining who he is to their own extended families.

Atiabi reportedly considered dropping the lawsuit after realizing the discovery process would involve even more people asking, “Puka who?”