BROOMFIELD, CO — Vail Resorts announced today its ambitious plan to achieve $745M-$775M EBITDA by 2026, largely by implementing a groundbreaking new weather strategy: fervent, collective wishing. Faced with "historic weather challenges" and a dwindling supply of actual snow, the ski giant confirmed it will lean heavily on optimistic projections and the sheer power of corporate desire.

“Our financial models indicate a strong correlation between our stated profit goals and the universe’s willingness to deliver powder,” stated Chief Optimism Officer, Skip Glacial, during a press conference held entirely indoors. “We’ve invested heavily in Gen Z pricing strategies, which, as we understand it, involves charging more for less, and frankly, we expect the weather to get with the program.”

Sources close to the company, who spoke on condition of anonymity while polishing their platinum-tier Epic Passes, confirmed that internal memos have encouraged employees to engage in daily snow dances and to “manifest” favorable conditions. “It’s less about snowmaking technology and more about snow-believing technology now,” one source revealed. “Our new dynamic pricing system will even charge extra for the *potential* of a good snow day.”

Analysts are cautiously optimistic, noting that if wishing worked for stock prices, it might just work for precipitation. Vail Resorts remains confident, asserting that their customers’ unwavering dedication to paying premium prices for increasingly unpredictable experiences will surely inspire Mother Nature to cooperate.

In related news, the company has begun exploring the feasibility of selling “air rights” over their resorts, just in case the snow never materializes.