WASHINGTON D.C. — In a bipartisan display of self-awareness, state legislative bodies nationwide are reportedly moving to formally reclassify their positions from 'State Representative' or 'Senator' to 'Professional Hobbyist' or 'Enthusiastic Volunteer.' The move comes after decades of stagnant salaries that often place elected officials below the median income for their respective states, leading many to conclude that the public doesn't actually expect full-time, professional governance.

“Look, when you pay someone less than a mid-level manager at a regional paper clip distributor, you’re not really asking for their undivided attention,” stated Representative Brenda Carmichael (D-Ohio), who also runs a moderately successful Etsy shop. “We’re essentially glorified interns with voting power. This new title just cuts to the chase.”

Critics argue the change is a cynical admission of legislative inadequacy. However, proponents insist it merely reflects reality. “We’re passionate amateurs,” explained Senator Marcus Thorne (R-Arizona), who dedicates most of his time to restoring antique radios. “The public gets what they pay for, which is a patchwork of well-meaning individuals trying to squeeze in lawmaking between their actual jobs.”

The proposed reclassification is expected to streamline budget discussions, as 'hobbyist' salaries are typically allocated from a different, far smaller, public fund.