LJUBLJANA – In a move hailed by efficiency experts and dreaded by poets, the Slovenian Ministry of Interior announced today that all forms of human desire, including the previously 'unspoken' varieties, have been comprehensively documented and are now considered publicly articulated. The groundbreaking initiative, dubbed 'Operation: Speak Your Truth (Or We Will For You),' aims to streamline societal understanding and eliminate the need for complex artistic interpretations.

“For too long, artists have profited from the ambiguity of the human heart,” stated Minister of Interior, Borut Kovač, at a press conference. “Films, novels, even interpretive dance – all dedicated to exploring what people *really* want. Well, we’ve found out. And frankly, it’s mostly just more cheese and slightly warmer socks.”

The declaration comes shortly after a local film, *Dečki*, gained international attention for its nuanced portrayal of queer desire. Critics suggest the government's swift action was a direct response to the film’s success, fearing a resurgence of 'unnecessary introspection.' A spokesperson for the Ministry of Culture, who wished to remain anonymous, admitted, “We just can’t have people thinking *too* hard about their feelings. It leads to questions, and questions lead to paperwork.”

Citizens are now encouraged to consult the newly launched 'Desire Database' for official confirmation of their innermost yearnings, rather than relying on unreliable personal feelings or, worse, cinema.