IRVINE, CA — Rivian Automotive, Inc. today unveiled its much-anticipated R2 SUV, touting it as their most 'affordable' model to date with a starting price of $45,000. Industry analysts were quick to praise the company for its bold redefinition of the term 'affordable,' which now apparently encompasses a demographic previously limited to 'people who regularly use the term 'bespoke' in casual conversation.'

'We listened to our customers, and they told us they wanted an EV that felt attainable,' stated Rivian CEO R.J. Scaringe, speaking from a stage flanked by several R2 models. 'And by 'attainable,' we mean something that won't require selling *both* your vacation homes, just one.' The new R2 boasts a 330-mile range and a 29-minute fast charge, features designed to get you from your primary residence to your secondary residence with minimal inconvenience.

Critics, however, pointed out that for the vast majority of the population, $45,000 still represents a significant financial hurdle, often requiring a down payment larger than the average American's entire savings. 'It's like calling a slightly smaller yacht 'affordable',' commented financial pundit Brenda Sterling. 'Technically true if your frame of reference is a superyacht, but for someone on a rowboat, it's still just a very expensive piece of fiberglass.'

All R2 models will also come equipped with hardware for Rivian's hands-free driving system, allowing owners to truly relax while their vehicle navigates the increasingly congested roads between their private golf club and their private jet hangar. Deliveries for the performance trim are expected to begin this spring, just in time for peak Hamptons season.