WASHINGTON D.C. — The U.S. Department of Defense today unveiled its groundbreaking 'Proximity-Based Engagement' doctrine, a strategic pivot designed to maximize operational efficiency by targeting military installations situated conveniently close to civilian population centers. The announcement comes after expert analysis confirmed a recent U.S. Tomahawk missile strike hit a military base near a primary school in southern Iran, resulting in casualties.

“Why waste precious resources tracking down remote, isolated targets when our adversaries are doing the hard work of co-locating for us?” asked General Thaddeus 'Bullseye' McMillan, head of Strategic Urban Planning for the Pentagon. “It’s about leveraging existing infrastructure. Think of it as a multi-use facility: one minute it’s a school, the next it’s a strategic opportunity. Very efficient.”

The new strategy, already being hailed as a 'paradigm shift' by defense contractors, promises to reduce fuel costs and reconnaissance hours. Critics, however, raised concerns about the potential for 'collateral optimization.' Dr. Evelyn Hayes, a geopolitical analyst at the Institute for Unintended Consequences, noted, “While technically hitting a military target, the incidental destruction of nearby non-military structures and personnel might be considered… less than ideal by some international observers.”

General McMillan dismissed such concerns, adding, “We’re simply adapting to the modern battlefield. If they build a barracks next to a day-care, that’s their strategic choice. We’re just making ours.” The Pentagon is reportedly developing an algorithm to identify the most 'synergistically placed' targets globally, ensuring future engagements are as streamlined as possible.