WASHINGTON D.C. – A new report from the Center for Economic Stagnation Studies (CESS) has unveiled a radical approach to retirement planning: simply acquiring more wealth. The study, which tracked thousands of individuals over several decades, found a direct correlation between higher income in the pre-retirement phase and a more comfortable post-work existence.

“For years, we’ve been telling people to save diligently, invest wisely, and pray for a bull market,” stated Dr. Evelyn Thorne, lead researcher at CESS. “But our data unequivocally shows that the most effective strategy is to just… make more money. It’s a paradigm shift.”

The report specifically highlights the burgeoning trend of older workers engaging in 'job hopping,' a practice previously thought to be the domain of restless millennials. These seasoned professionals are reportedly leveraging decades of experience to secure higher-paying positions, often with better benefits, rather than clinging to long-held, undercompensated roles.

“It turns out, if you earn an extra $20,000 a year for the last decade of your career, you end up with more money,” explained financial analyst Chad Broxton, whose firm advises on 'optimal wealth accumulation via non-poverty.' “Who knew? It’s almost too simple.”

Critics argue the findings are obvious, but CESS maintains the study provides crucial empirical evidence for what many retirees have long suspected: that poverty is, in fact, bad for your retirement.