OKLAHOMA CITY — The National Basketball Association today unveiled a radical new regulation, colloquially dubbed the 'SGA Rule,' which will require every player not named Shai Gilgeous-Alexander to score at least one point per game. The move comes as Gilgeous-Alexander tied Wilt Chamberlain’s record for consecutive 20-point games, leading many to speculate the league is running out of ways to challenge him.

“Frankly, it’s getting a little embarrassing for everyone else,” stated NBA Commissioner Adam Silver in a hastily called press conference. “We’ve tried everything: double teams, triple teams, making him play with the Thunder. Nothing seems to slow him down. This new rule is designed to ensure a baseline level of participation from the other 29 teams, and frankly, from his own teammates.”

League sources, who spoke on condition of anonymity because they were currently trying to figure out how to explain the rule to Draymond Green, suggested the mandate was a desperate attempt to create the illusion of parity. “We just want Shai to feel like he’s earning it,” said one official. “It’s hard to celebrate a record when the opposing team’s box score looks like a grocery list of missed opportunities.”

Critics argue the rule sets a dangerous precedent, potentially leading to more players accidentally scoring. However, the NBA maintains it's a necessary step to keep the game engaging for audiences who might otherwise only tune in for SGA’s highlights. The league is reportedly considering a follow-up rule requiring at least one other player to attempt a free throw per quarter.