NEW YORK, NY — In a stunning display of investigative journalism, a consortium of leading sports media outlets has officially confirmed that the annual collegiate basketball phenomenon known as March Madness will proceed as scheduled. The exhaustive 10-point 'guide' reportedly took months of dedicated research, culminating in the earth-shattering conclusion that basketball games will be played, and some teams will win while others lose.

“Our data models, combined with extensive interviews with coaches and players, unequivocally point to the existence of a tournament bracket,” stated Dr. Reginald 'Reggie' Hoopsworth, lead analyst for the 'Is Basketball Still a Thing?' Institute. “We can now confidently report that there will be 'upsets,' 'Cinderella stories,' and at least one 'one-and-done' player who will declare for the draft.”

The report also bravely tackled the controversial topic of 'teams to watch,' identifying several programs that have historically performed well as potential contenders. “It was a bold move, but we decided to include the perennial powerhouses,” admitted Hoopsworth, wiping sweat from his brow. “Someone had to say it.”

Fans are advised to brace themselves for an onslaught of 'narratives' and 'storylines' as the event unfolds, with experts predicting a high likelihood of 'buzzer-beaters' and 'bracket-busting' moments. The report concluded by urging viewers to remember that, despite all the hype, the ball will, in fact, go through the hoop.