MIAMI, FL – In a move that has left even seasoned judicial observers scratching their heads, a Florida court has set bail at an unprecedented $10.2 million for Ivanna Lisette Ortiz, 35, who faces attempted murder charges. The figure, which reportedly caused the courtroom’s calculator to emit a faint whirring sound before displaying 'ERROR: TOO BIG,' has been hailed as a new benchmark in the justice system’s ability to demand sums typically associated with small nation-states or moderately successful tech startups.

“We wanted to send a clear message,” stated Judge Eleanor Vance, adjusting her glasses. “And that message is: 'We are very serious about this particular individual not leaving.' Also, we’re pretty sure she doesn’t have $10.2 million. It’s a win-win, really.”

Defense attorney Marcus Thorne expressed bewilderment, noting, “My client’s previous bail amounts were usually in the ‘three digits’ range, sometimes four if it was a Tuesday. This is a significant jump. We’re exploring options, including a GoFundMe, a very aggressive bake sale, or perhaps selling a small, non-essential kidney.”

Ortiz, whose alleged connection to a separate Rihanna-related incident was noted in initial reports, remains in custody, reportedly asking if the court accepts payment in 'exposure' or 'crypto from 2017.'