NEW YORK, NY — Major League Baseball franchises, not content with merely predicting 2026 Opening Day starters, have reportedly begun an aggressive campaign to identify and track potential aces for the 2035 season. This unprecedented long-term strategic shift aims to secure a competitive advantage by scouting talent still years away from puberty.

“Why wait until they’re teenagers to start making projections?” asked Atlanta Braves General Manager Alex Anthopoulos, speaking from a youth baseball clinic where he was observed timing a 9-year-old’s fastball. “The earlier we identify foundational talent, the better. We’re talking about true generational players here, the kind who might one day throw a perfect game after completing their college applications.”

The move comes as the league grapples with an ever-increasing demand for future-proofing, prompting clubs to extend their analytical models to include factors like 'potential growth spurts,' 'lunchbox contents,' and 'ability to share toys.' Industry insiders suggest that teams are now hiring child psychologists and early childhood educators to complement traditional scouting departments.

“It’s all about the data,” explained Dr. Evelyn Reed, a newly appointed 'Future-Pitcher Behavioral Analyst' for the Boston Red Sox. “We’re looking for early indicators of resilience, hand-eye coordination during snack time, and a healthy relationship with their parents. You’d be surprised how much you can learn from a T-ball game about a player’s future mental fortitude.”

Critics argue that this hyper-extended focus distracts from current roster needs, but team executives remain steadfast. “Someone has to plan for the future,” stated one anonymous GM, “and frankly, the 2026 guys are practically ancient history at this point.”

The league is reportedly considering a new draft lottery system based on kindergarten attendance records.