NEW YORK, NY – Following an electrifying "Superman slide" by Toronto Blue Jays slugger Vladimir Guerrero Jr., Major League Baseball Commissioner Rob Manfred announced today a sweeping new rule change: all baserunning will now require a minimum of one gravity-defying, visually spectacular maneuver per game. The move, effective immediately, is designed to combat flagging fan interest and ensure every play is a viral highlight.

"For too long, we've allowed players to merely *run* the bases," stated Commissioner Manfred in a press conference held atop a specially constructed, 30-foot-high home plate. "No more. Fans crave spectacle. They want to see athletes transcend the mundane. If Vlad can do it, everyone can. We're talking mid-air pirouettes, triple-somersault dives, maybe even a brief moment of levitation before touching down on second base."

Players caught executing a standard, two-feet-on-the-ground slide will be subject to immediate ejection and a mandatory re-education course in advanced acrobatics. "We're investing heavily in anti-gravitational training facilities," added Manfred, gesturing to a poorly rendered CGI blueprint of a zero-G batting cage. "This isn't just baseball; it's an extreme sport now. Think Cirque du Soleil meets the World Series."

Veteran shortstop Miguel 'The Grounder' Rodriguez, currently struggling with a hamstring injury, expressed concern. "I can barely touch my toes, let alone fly. My 'superpower' is getting on base. Now I gotta learn parkour?" Meanwhile, league marketing executives are reportedly already pitching a new slogan: 'MLB: Where Every Base is a Leap of Faith.'

Critics argue the new rule might unfairly disadvantage players who lack superhuman abilities, but Manfred remained steadfast, insisting that "the future of baseball depends on making every single play look like a video game cutscene."